I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
