Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
