I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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