Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
