Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it because I queefed?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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