then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize