Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
