You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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