she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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