Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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