Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
