we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
