I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize