Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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