Please, let me fuck your mom
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters