He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
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Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.