I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.