so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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