After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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