After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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