i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
