Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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