Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
