I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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