i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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