Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you inspire me to be a worse person
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
