Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
