Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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