Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
