apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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