Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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