No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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