East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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