i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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