i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
