Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cut my penus on the lid.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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