She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
