just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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