I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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