you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
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You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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