im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
