did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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