the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
