Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
