so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
