I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
