Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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