Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
