Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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