I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
