he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
