I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
