There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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