Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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