awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
