Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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