You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
