UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
