you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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