First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
