On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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