What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
