i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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