sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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