so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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