Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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